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  1 person liked this post.
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LindaH
Florida
1754 Posts |
 Posted - 12/21/2009 : 08:52:26 AM
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My heart is with you and your family, Gladys - this is not an easy thing...it's traumatic for all involved. I had to have my mother forcibly removed from her home because she never "transitioned" into leaving on her own - in fact she was adamant she wasn't going anywhere, even when she needed medical attention. I was her Conservatrix in CT. She was living by herself (at her insistence which now, I realize, I should have terminated at least six months sooner) and she'd fallen several times within the 30 days prior to my final stand - I consulted with the probate court and her court-appointed attorney, basically asking them "okay, you're telling me what has to be done, now how do I do it??!" - it ended up involving the police and paramedics as she was a danger to her own well-being.
Luckily your brother is with her - maybe she'll remember the trust and it will be easier for all of you.
Good Luck.
Linda
www.notarydepot.com/notary/lindah
http://www.notary.net/websites/LindaHubbell
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pbs_notary
Virginia
30 Posts |
Posted - 12/21/2009 : 08:39:04 AM
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I just read this for the first time. My mom have been diagnosed with early stages of dementia. Right now she is living alone at her own request. However, within the next 30 days she will be living with me.
Yes they say whatever they want, when they want because they truly have no control. For example I called her at least six times a day and try to visit daily(my family takes turns) Well she tells my sister when it is not my day to go up that she haven't heard from me in months nor have I feed her. So I can just imagine what she will be saying when she moves in. She told her minister that we had her on punishment that is why she haven't been to church. She goes to church every Wednesday and Sunday no matter the weather.
My brother is living with her now full time until we can convince her to leave her home. Transisitioning is a job in itself.
Gladys in VA |
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Renee
Michigan
549 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2009 : 03:09:19 AM
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Lisa - those affected by Alzheimer's as well as other forms of dementia can, and in my own experience often are aware of 'reality'. They are aware of their own situation - not aware in the same sense or manner that we might be, but they are aware that something isn't right about how they're interacting with the world. This is why it can be really hard to know, even with someone you know very well (like a parent) when things have gone beyond the usual age-related behavioral quirks.
Alzheimer's might steal away your memories, like tearing out pages going back in time - but it doesn't necessarily steal the memory of how to engage socially, appropriately, and pick up on social cues. You might forget who a person is to you, but you're likely to remember how to greet that person, how to chit-chat appropriately, how to feign comprehension of things going on around you.
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theinsurancelady
Washington
38 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2009 : 10:26:15 PM
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Sometimes when working with the infirm, the elderly, and the challenged, the simplest course is the simple question: "Do you trust this person?"
If they say "no" then I'm out of there. And I've left without the fee more than once.
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Lisa T.
California
391 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2009 : 9:43:28 PM
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I'm reading this for the first time, too. However, for those who mentioned "alzheimer" as a possible diagnosis for granny...I'm not reading this in the post. Like small children who don't understand the impact of what they say when they blirt out, "Why is that person FAT?, an alzheimer patient - unaware of reality - has no reason to "hide" behind a whisper....they would just say it out loud, just like someone's mom said, "What are you trying to do, kill me?". She didn't save the thought for later when guests left, she just said what she had to say....
I said all of that to say that granny having the Notary come very close so she could whisper something the daughter couldn't hear - and again with the police - tells me granny had her faculties and her claims were not the ramblings of an unaware patient...I would interpret that as she was truly being threatened...I would have called the police too. If the daughter had no ill intentions and granny was making it up....then it would all be sorted out without incident. But I would let the police do the sorting rather than leave granny to the whims of wayward and con artist kinfolk. |
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crtowles
California
553 Posts |
Posted - 11/03/2007 : 03:07:39 AM
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You know now that I rethink this, I remember years ago when I was taking care of my mother at home,(she had dementia as well) and would say the oddest things. She would tell the drop in nurse that I was trying to kill her (because I wouldn't do what she asked and give her some food that I knew she could not eat). She thought she could do all sorts of things but she had suffered a stroke and was paralyzed total left side. The nurse who knew better scolded her and told her that one day she may say this to the wrong person and it would cause me (as well as her) a great deal of trouble. If was funny, I thought that she wasn't really paying attention when the nurse was talking but she never said that again. She did however continue to call me 'mother" and her mother had been deceased for over 30 years.
So I guess that a milder approach would have been to talk to the nurses first and then make a decision. The problem is, we just never know. I am sure the police sorted it all out. It does give us a allot to think about. Someones life could be destroyed for no reason....
~Carmen |
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Renee
Michigan
549 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2007 : 9:16:23 PM
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Linda, my first thoughts were just like your's - that the woman's comment about not getting any more food was probably more likely an indication of a degree of dementia or Alzheimer's than of abuse, although I'm NOT niave enough to believe elders aren't abused.
It's probably the experience of having cared for someone with Alzheimer's that's tempering our reactions to this, no doubt. At face value, the protection of this woman by having the police intervene is absolutely commendable, and since I wasn't there and I've never faced this exact situation, it's hard to say what I would have done - but I THINK I would've excused myself and spoke with someone on the staff, before putting the law machine into gear. I think it's very possible that the staff might say something like "Oh, that Mrs. Smith, she's ALWAYS saying that, she just thinks she's 6 years old and that's what her mom used to tell her when she was little, that she wouldn't get any more food ..."
This particular situation has a number of red flags, and we notaries must be so vigilent when facing situations involving the elderly, particularly when they are hospitalized or in a nursing home. For obvious reasons, I will not even go to a "memory care facility", and it is helpful to know which of the facilities around you ARE memory care.
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LindaH
Florida
1754 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2007 : 03:20:49 AM
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I have to chime in here with a word of warning...
When I first read this original post I felt the same way - good for the notary!! Good Job!! HOWEVER, since this time I've brought my 81 year old mother to live with me as she can no longer fend for herself - she has dementia with some ?Alzheimer's - she THINKS she's taking care of herself but she's not and can no longer live alone per doctor's orders.
Every time, and mean EVERY time, my mother makes one of her off the wall comments or starts rambling, I think of this thread and this story... I have to tell you - some of the things that come out of her mouth are incredible - the most off-the-wall comments I've ever heard. She told me just the other day she had to get dressed because "Nanny" (my grandmother) was going to be here in about an hour. "Nanny"'s been dead since 1989. One day a couple months ago we had company for lunch - my mother didn't like what we served - said "what are you trying to do? Kill me??" I wanted to die!!
So just be careful - be vigilant but be sure before calling authorities. This particular notary probably did a great thing and I'm not trying to discount the good she probably did - but if granny was anything like my mother this family may have been exposed to unthinkable legal problems for no good reason.
Again, only based on my personal experience with my own mother...
Linda
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Edited by - LindaH on 11/02/2007 03:24:46 AM |
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crtowles
California
553 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2007 : 08:49:25 AM
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Thar was originally posted by one of our members awhile ago. Jeremy reposted it for us all to read. What a great story. Smart thinking on the notaries part with that 'Senior Citizen Notarization Rider' part. Job well done!!!
Carmen |
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radonotary
Florida
234 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2007 : 06:55:34 AM
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| I just read this for the first time: WOW |
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n/a
Florida
4 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2007 : 08:20:34 AM
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| Excellent job Jbelmont! People just dont understand how important our jobs really are. We touch lives with the work we do and you my friend are a saint for doing it right! |
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Janiscj.
Wyoming
6 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2007 : 11:02:58 AM
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| Thank you for that very informative article. I was shocked and saddened to read that things like elder-abuse is still on the rise in this nation. As our 'baby boomers' age, more awareness needs to be made. |
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jbelmont
California
3106 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2007 : 2:44:16 PM
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It was to be a routine POA (Power of Attorney) at a hospital. I made sure the daughter had a drivers license for "granny" and the deal was I get paid even if she can't sign due to medication. I arrive and all seems in order. The POA was not signed and the ID was good. I ask "granny" why she is signing the document and what it does. She, being quite old and frail motions for me to lean over so she can whisper in my ear, her voice not being so strong. She answers my question and I tell the daughter that "She appears to be over 55, so I need to get a (Senior Citizen Notarization Rider) to add to the POA. In about 20 minutes I return with a Police Sargent and a Police Lieutenent. The Sargent bodily moves the daughter to the corner of the room and the Lieutenant asks the same question of the patient, again lowering his ear to her lips. PUT HER IN THE CAR he orders the Sargent, SHE IS UNDER ARREST. The Lieutenant takes my card and says I may be called to testify later. By now you are probably wondering what the Lady had to say. My blood chills, even now, a year later when I recall her words. "They told me if I dont sign it I won't get any more food". I never collected my fee, but I sure felt good putting that monster daughter behind bars.
In most states the oath asks something similar to "do you acknowledge that you understood and willfully signed this document.....". Don't neglect to give the oath, and if someone is being FORCED to sign - call the police - it's the right thing to do.
Posted by Edelske |
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