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 Tips on becoming the worlds WORST notary
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jbelmont

California
2990 Posts

Posted - 01/15/2008 :  1:10:43 PM  Show Profile  Visit jbelmont's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Its always good to have a mental database of starbucks locations. Then if you are at a dump to do a notarization, you could request or offer a subtle suggestion of going to starbucks if its bad enough. Just don't spill the latte on the TIL.
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n/a

Washington
2 Posts

Posted - 01/15/2008 :  10:22:42 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
after my first few signings, I found 'winging' it to conduct the signing worked fairly well. the attitude of the borrowers dictated how the session would go. borrower's pets are an ice-breaker, allowing for other light conversation, in keeping with the task at hand.
as for the house conditions- I have seen some virtually sterile while others were almost total dumps. while I have been tempted to remark on the condition I don;t with respect to the borrowers. I have run into the 'he said, she said' arguement for what has gone on during the sessions.
no thanks.
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jbelmont

California
2990 Posts

Posted - 01/14/2008 :  3:46:24 PM  Show Profile  Visit jbelmont's Homepage  Reply with Quote
I think that all of us forgot to mention that its a polite gesture to offer to do paw-printing if they have pets just in case the pets get lost on day and you need to identify them. Or perhaps a paw print if you are refinancing a dog house. Fang imprints are the next best thing.
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n/a

114 Posts

Posted - 01/09/2008 :  4:19:57 PM  Show Profile  Visit n/a's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Funniest list I have ever read. Laughing out loud!

A must read for all new signing agents and a terrific reminder for those of us who have made some of those mistakes along the way...

Thank you.

Burton F.
www.GeorgiaLoanClosers.com
www.CallOurLawyers.com
Recruiting throughout Georgia every day!
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becmiller

Utah
16 Posts

Posted - 10/24/2007 :  7:16:27 PM  Show Profile  Visit becmiller's Homepage  Reply with Quote
LOL

Have to add: bring your dog or dogs or cats to the signing. All borrowers love animals and theirs love you and your leg (all through the closing)

And bring your children and a big mug of coffee and then ask to use their bathroom and since you need to fax their paperwork can you just use their computer and fax machine?


Bec
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jbelmont

California
2990 Posts

Posted - 09/29/2007 :  6:23:28 PM  Show Profile  Visit jbelmont's Homepage  Reply with Quote
I like Ken's pointers. He was very thorough and hit all points except two of my favorites. Here are two more choice strategies for being the world's worst notary. (1) Discussing politics with the borrower is one of the worst things you can do. It can be more effective than making inappropriate jokes (depending on who the borrower is ). (2) If the lawn has too many obstacles to make it a good parking spot, make sure your car is leaking oil or fluids, and then park in their driveway blocking whomever is going to leave the house. Thats all, Ken covered all the other good points.

If my first two points don't create the desired reaction, then spilling beer all over the documents will confirm your status as being the worlds worst notary.
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LindaH

Florida
1752 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2007 :  06:52:49 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'll say again - sometimes judging by the condition of the homes I go into or the condition of the borrowers themselves I could have worn my jammies and they'd have been none the wiser!!!

Linda
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dfye@mcttelecom.com

New Hampshire
681 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2007 :  06:41:14 AM  Show Profile  Visit dfye@mcttelecom.com's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Way too funny. But believe it or not, some notaries have been known to behave like that. Sigh!!! Things must have been slow on that day Edelske.

Legal Eagle Para Professional Services
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LindaH

Florida
1752 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2007 :  07:21:51 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Whoa...you really need to lighten up on the caffeine & cola there, pal...<G>

Linda
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edelske

New York
812 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2007 :  07:07:34 AM  Show Profile  Visit edelske's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Never write things down - rely on your good memory. Book EVERY call that you get and go to the one that pays the most. Use the same stamp for life - after you cut off the "99" from the date then cut off the "19" and just write in the 2000 year. Never clean your stamp. Dress shabby - looking poor might get you a tip. Arrive late - they will appreciate you more when you finally show. Ignore all rules - backdate, fax notarizations, loan out your stamp and seal when you are on vacation - for a commission of course. Curse out the loan officer when the docs are late or over 50 pages. Shrink all edoc to cheaper letter paper - legal paper costs too much anyway. Ship completed signings only on Saturday - it's easier to find parking. Bait and Switch all "signing co's" demanding double the agreeded fee - save this demand till an hour before scheduled time. Eat lots of beans and garlic - borrowers sign quickly in a flatulent environment. Charge extra for using your embosser - after all it's extra work. Never renew your commission - just update the stamp. Never check ID - nobody really gives a hoot who signed it as long as it's not blank. Retain the signature page of the mortgage till the title company pays you. If your check don't arrive promptly sue the borrower - after all it's their sig's you notarized. Pirate other notaries web sites - imitation is sincerest form of flattery. Send phony invoices to lots of title co's and signing agencies - collect what they did not pay other notaries. Your entitled to give opinions about the interest rate and any aspect of the loan - be colorful in your comments. Bring your lunch to the job - it shows you have good time management skills. Have the affiant sign in day glow green ink - legal docs need a bit of color. Always tell the borrower what you think they want to hear - promise anything to get them to sign quicker. Put your stamp in the MIDDLE of the page - show them who's important. Never give the borrower a copy - most cant or wont read it anyway - and paper is expensive. Make a copy of the return Fedex/UPS airbill and use it to send your invoice if not paid in one week. When the borrower's apartment/home is a DUMP - it's OK to tell them so. You must tell all clients that you expect tips - otherwise how are they to know. Park on the borrower's lawn so you won't be blocked in on their driveway. Any room without a No Smoking sign is your invitation to light up. If the borrower forgot to make a copy of their license just slip the original into the package when they are not looking. Make any changes to the documents that will get the borrower to sign - after all you are a public official with authority. A few drinks can help steady your hand. Off color, sexist and racist jokes show self confidence and professional ability. Never read "signing instructions" - who are they to boss you around. Keep phone charges down by calling the borrower collect. Learn to shortchange - clients usually have their mind on the documents. Never go alone - bring friends to help create a festive environment. Answer all "legal" questions with your best guess - it makes you appear very wise and lets you bill the borrower directly for your legal opinions.
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